Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like An Amber Alert
by Sovoyita
Summary: Title says it all. EXB one shot


**A/N**: …Yeah…..umm, you all will realize that this one shot is really random and I was really bored. Also, I'm tired of stuffing E.M. Forster down my throat and finishing my research paper/book report. I'm tired and I got about two hours of sleep last night. Luckily, my mom was kind enough to give me a couple green tea tablets to boost up the old metabolism and she bought me coffee and a taco this morning for breakfast. So I'm awake now, but I'm bored. Enjoy this little shotty (**I did mean shotty, not with an 'i') **one shot and we'll see how things go.

**NOTHING SAYS 'I LOVE YOU' LIKE A GOOD OLE AMBER ALERT**

Waking up had never been so painful.

Sure, I had woken up with my _too fair _share of broken bones before and concussions, but at the moment, remembering them was harder because of the drums beating in my head. A _horse pill_ couldn't have cured the headache I had.

With my hand plastered to my forehead to keep it from falling off my shoulders, I sat up only to hit my head on something. I hadn't calculated that said hit would knock me to the floor with that much force. My dramatic descent from wherever I was (my head was still pounding too loudly to tell) to the ground could have equally rivaled a slow-motion scene from any teenage horror film. All I needed was the horribly pathetic antagonist/homicidal teenager with a vengeance to come and laugh maniacally from behind me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, in the tiny crevice that the pounding didn't affect, I realized that I didn't have a bunk bed in my room and there was no way possible way that I could have hit my head from above me. My lack of balance and my practically nonexistent sense of direction _could_ have been fault here though. And being incapacitated due to this headache would only make matters worse, I realized. Clumsy girls that were drunk (whether I was truly drunk or not; I didn't remember drinking anything, ever) and handicapped were never safe from themselves.

"Oh, you're awake." I jumped and had somehow managed to fall over again and hit my head on another something that I couldn't see. I groaned loudly and rubbed my head with the palm of my hand. The spots were popping up in front of my eyes again and I felt as if I had been hit by a truck…or a bucket. I had more experience with the bucket so I knew what _that _felt like.

More than a little curious as to who was talking to me, I looked up to see a familiar face. A familiar face that I wasn't acquainted with, but familiar nonetheless. With strange reddish bronze colored hair and bright green eyes, it was not hard to see that I would have remembered him from the very first time I ever saw him. Unfortunately, I couldn't even remember where.

He smiled at my probably horribly confused face and held out his hand for me to grab, which I did so immediately. My butt was hurting from the beating it received when I landed on my tailbone and embarrassingly enough, when I stood, I probably looked like a dog that just got a thermometer stuck up its butt. I must have resembled a very ripe tomato at that point because the boy laughed heartily.

I was confused. "Um…where am I?" His smile widened, showing me his pearly whites and leaving me wondering if teeth could naturally be so white. I was tempted to ask him but decided to focus on a different matter such as why he was still holding onto my hand. Weird…

Not that his hand didn't feel somewhat inviting! In fact, my hand fit surprisingly well in his, even when he was holding it a bit too tightly and looked like he was about to be jumping up and down on the balls of his feet for no apparent reason. It was almost comfortable…in an awkward, schoolgirl crushing on a schoolboy kind of way. I think he noticed that I was still blushing he looked down at our joined hands and just smiled happily, lightly swinging our hands back and forth.

_What the…?_

"You are…?" His brows furrowed a bit before he opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the loud banging of a door hitting the wall. When did that door get there?!

"Hey Edward, I picked up your order from that gay place that you love. Why the heck did you order so muc–" He stopped speaking, his arms hanging loosely on his sides as the two large brown bags he was carrying landed on the floor, the sound of Styrofoam cracking the only thing that could be heard. His mouth was popped open as he stared openly at me before shifting his gaze over to the boy. What did he say his name was? Ed, no Edwin or something.

The guy was bulky, that's all I could say. He was much bigger than the boy that was holding my hands, his muscle mass probably exceeding Edwin's by…a lot. His dark curly hair was the only thing that really softened his look. Actually, I think the shocked look kind of helped with that too.

The guy gulped loudly. "Edward," _Oh, that's what his name was. Edward…hmm, I guess it suited him alright. _"Please tell me you didn't kidnap her." Edwi –I mean Edward, didn't say anything. Instead, he just looked back down on me with a creepy little smile that made me feel like I was the center of a bad joke. _Okay_…

"Dammit Edward, I didn't actually expect you to go through with it! I mean, you couldn't have at least waited until I got home so I could help?!" My confusion didn't really stop me from seeing the humor in what he said, so I automatically pressed my hand to my mouth to stop the laugh that was about to escape. But the look on the bulky one's face wasn't even remotely humorous. In fact, it was rather…disappointed.

I wasn't in the proverbial Kansas of my hypothesis anymore.

No one expects to hear someone talk about kidnapping you but I was surprisingly unsurprised. My potentially fatal bad luck had been the cause of plenty incidents, all dangerous and, wouldn't you know it, potentially fatal. I just didn't expect someone would go this far to do me in. It was almost flattering, in a creepy sort of way.

Yogi Bear (the big guy; I needed to call him _something_) was just standing there, looking like a fish out of water and Edwin (I still couldn't shake that name) was looking at him with a sheepish expression that said, "Oh well." I was a bit annoyed though. I was the kidnapp_ee_, dammit! I would _not _be ignored!

"Umm, sorry to disrupt," they looked at me, their eyes widening humorously when they realized I was still there. "Where am I?" Edwin's cheeks were a light pink, making him look…cute. Not that he wasn't already attractive. He had a stoic looking expression almost but whenever he looked at me, he reminded me of Mike Newton, a puppy dog staring after its master for admiration and attention. I shuddered at his one-sided fixation. That may have been what kind of offsetting in the first place but in an attempt to seem less anxious, I skimmed over the face of my kidnapper, hoping desperately that there wouldn't be something that made him remind me even more of Mike.

On the top of his head was a mop of that reddish bronze hair that reminded me of copper…really shiny copper. Down his face here his dark, nearly black eyebrows that, fortunately, did _not _meet in the center, just an inch or so from his straight nose with a slight, nearly impossible-to-see bump. His high cheekbones and strong jaw-line gave him the look of…a model? Or at least someone more attractive than average –a hand model for a catalog, perhaps? –his hands _had_ been soft. With a quick, seemingly unnoticeable shift of the eyes, I took a peek down at the hand that was wrapped around my own. It was strong looking with long, nimble looking fingers, and pale skin, near the same color of my own skin without the pastiness of it.

Someone cleared their throat from above me; the boys were both tall, maybe six feet or so. I felt like a midget around them.

Bearburt was smiling at me (less maniacally than Edmund) and showing his pearly whites –oh so similar to his…brother's? –before walking over to pat my arm. His huge hand covered my shoulder and weighed it down substantially, leaving me with a bit of pain and a pissed looking Edwin. He literally looked as if he was going to kill Grizzly man. Yogi just smiled angelically before heading towards the door.

"Nice to meet you Bella; I've heard so much about you." Shock probably crossed my face momentarily for Yogi guffaws reverberated throughout the room. "Have fun with Bella, Edward. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" And with that, he just waltzed out of the place with the bag of takeout in hand, as if seeing Edm-Edward kidnapping a girl was an ordinary occurrence. And it was angering me that I couldn't even keep the name straight in my mind! The damned headache was taking more out of me than I thought.

It looked as if Edward was having a headache too. He was pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb and breathing deeply, his eyes closed tightly and the hand around my fingers loosened before tightening slightly. I was a bit worried and on the verge of embarrassment. My palm was beginning to sweat from being held too long and if my kidnapper felt it, he would probably be thrilled to find that I was scared.

Honestly, who wouldn't have been scared at a time like this? Okay, well I knew a few people. Jessica probably would have found this exciting, like being kidnapped by your own personal prince charming. Copper Locks didn't seem like a bad guy. In fact, he even looked like a nice guy with a problem with obsessions, that's all. So, in hope that this particular kidnapper wasn't truly that villain I was talking about earlier, I decided that I would humor him.

I pulled my hand out of his, clenching my fist to check if there was any sweat and, much to my humiliation, there was. Inconspicuously, I wiped my hand on my jeans and plopped myself down on the bed, wincing slightly at the pain in my tailbone. Great, now I _knew_ that I would have a bruise on my butt. I moved myself as best I could without looking like I had something up my butt until I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my butt much more comfortable than it had been. As comfortable as the bed was with its silky soft black comforter, it was doing nothing for the aching in my backside.

I looked up to see Copper Locks/Edward looking down at me with a strange expression on his face. I turned my eyes away and ran my tongue over my teeth. Did I have something on my teeth_? I knew I shouldn't have eaten that spinach omelet for breakfast! _

"So…how is this going to work? If you need my dad's number, it's in my phone. I've never done this before, so you're gonna have to guide me through." His emerald colored eyes widened exceptionally and I found myself biting my lip to hold back a laugh. Seriously, he was the one who kidnapped me. You'd think this would come has less of a shock.

He stuttered for a moment, looking utterly confused before spitting out a, "What?" That annoyed me a bit too. Seriously, what was up with kidnappers today? If they were going to do a kidnapping, they should never waste the kidnappee's time by forgetting the plan!

I sighed. "Coppe-I mean, Edward, can you at least try and focus at the task at hand? Now, do I get to make a phone call or something?" He closed his eyes and shook his head and I nodded in understanding. He probably wanted to make the phone call so he could ask for the ransom or something. What did kidnappers want nowadays anyway? He didn't seem like the kind of guy who wanted to murder me; not yet anyway. If he wanted money, would his room have been furnished with a plasma screen television along with a huge, expensive looking stereo and wall full of compact discs? I didn't think so. And from what I could see, wherever we were was a pretty big place. There was a large glass wall that took up an entire side of the room that looked out over the overly green evergreens. That view was the only thing that told me we were still somewhere in the Olympic Peninsula. If we weren't, I'm sure there would be some sort of brownish color outside the window.

"What are you talking about, Bella?" I looked up at him in surprised. It was the first actual sentence that he had spoken to me that didn't really surprise me. But either way, I was confused. Obviously, he had to know my name if he planned to carry out the kidnapping properly, but I just never expected him to say it.

'Huh' was my brilliant response and he chuckled lightly before sitting himself on the floor in front of me. His legs were crossed underneath him and he stared up at me with curious eyes. "I'm sorry; we've never been properly introduced. I'm Edward Cullen." The name seemed familiar but I couldn't remember from where. Edward was holding out his hand for me to shake, but I stared at it like an idiot. He smiled sheepishly before placing his hand on his lap. "Look, I'm sorry about my brother. Emmett really doesn't seem to have a filter between his brain and his mouth."

"You mean Yogi Bear?" I blurted. I realized what I said and covered my mouth, my face red with embarrassment. Edward looked startled and surprised for a minute before laughing loudly. He was holding his sides as he rolled on the floor and I couldn't help but laugh with him. When he finally was able to sit up, he was hiccupping with laughter and tears were running down his face. He hastily wiped them away with the back of his hand and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, Yogi Bear's an appropriate name for Emmett. All the brawns without the brains." He chuckled. His eyes became trained solely on me. I felt uncomfortable. His strong gaze was unwavering and was lifting goosebumps on my arms. Of course, my reaction was totally reasonable. He was a handsome guy that was looking at me like…well, that.

"Well, I think we should get some ice for your head. That bump is turning purple and I imagine it must hurt." _What? _My hand shot towards my forehead and I felt the huge welt that felt swollen on the center of my forehead. It took me a moment to shake off the shock before replying to my revelation with an intelligent, "Ow."

I heard a mumbled, "That's what I thought," before feeling Edward pulling me up from my seat and leading me out the door. I was wincing, that I was sure of. He seemed to notice it as well and quickly apologized for startling me. I just shook my head and followed him down two flights of stairs, looking at the pictures that were displayed on the perfectly white walls. In simple yet elegant looking black frames were pictures of what I assumed was Edward's family. A little bronze haired boy was surrounded by a short little girl with black hair, a burly looking boy with dark curls atop his head, a pretty blonde girl who looked like a child model, and a little blonde haired boy. They all seemed to be messing around, the burly boy with his fingers shaped into bunny ears above the blonde girl's head, the black haired girl hugging tightly to the blonde haired boy and the bronze haired boy smiling at their silliness. It wasn't hard to tell which child was Edward and which was Yog- I mean Emmett. As for the others, I couldn't be sure.

I guess I had stopped walking because I jumped when Edward whispered into my ear. "That's my family. That's blonde girl is my adoptive sister Rosalie and the blonde boy is her twin, Jasper. The little girl that looks like a fairy," he pointed to the black haired girl, a rather attractive…crooked grin on his face, "that's my adoptive sister Alice. And you know Emmett, also adopted." I looked at him with a curious glance. If he was my kidnapper, why was he telling me about his family?

"Okay, am I being punk'd?" He spun around, his face the pinnacle of shock and astonishment. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed, exasperated. "Honestly, you are the worst kidnapper in the existence of all kidnappers. Geez, don't you at least have some sort of master plan?! You know, a master plan with a capital 'P' that will totally trump all the other so called master plans? My god, what the heck did you plan before you kidnapped me?" He stared at me with wide eyes before shaking his head. I was about to continue my little rant on how horrible he was doing with his not-so-thought-out master plan when he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and carried me down the stairs.

I struggled and attempted to free myself, but Edward just held me tighter and didn't say a word. In the end, I found myself sitting on top of a marble counter next to a stainless steal sink. Edward was digging through the freezer for mere seconds before pulling out a gel pack, wrapping it in a towel and placing it on my forehead. He looked angry but surprisingly, he didn't put a painful amount of pressure on my forehead when he placed the gel pack there. Instead, he leaned against the counter opposite of me and pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply.

"Did you honestly think I kidnapped you?" he asked solemnly, his voice just above a whisper. The sadness in his voice was clear but it looked like he was trying to keep hide it underneath annoyance. The heat in my face flared and I found myself stuttering a reply.

"Well, it seemed kind of obvious –I mean, I don't even know where I am, and I just kind of woke up here and I don't know who _you _are and Emmett asked if you kidnapped me and I just, I don't know!" I was practically hysterical by the time I finished talking and my headache was starting to pound into my head painfully. Why oh why did I have to go and get angry? I groaned and leaned to the side where my head laid itself on the cool countertop. It was much more comfortable than I thought it would be.

I felt like crying. I had been rude to my so called kidnapper who probably wasn't even a kidnapper and I really wasn't his kidnappee, rather, I was just some girl that really didn't matter and had somehow ended up inside his house. I didn't even know where I was so there was no possibility of escaping from my captor's house and I didn't have a cell phone to call my dad, Charlie on and things were all just mixed up in my head and I felt like I was about to puke. Copper Locks must have noticed this because he placed the gel pack back onto my head and before sitting me up and pulling me into a tight embrace.

"I didn't want to upset you," he mumbled into my hair, his breath tickling my neck, "I was just a little…disappointed. I didn't think of this as kidnapping you. Though I admit, these particular circumstances would point to me kidnapping you." A laugh escaped me and I could feel his smile through my hair. I liked the feeling of his arms around me. Plus, his hair smelled really good, almost like…sunshine? I didn't even know if sunshine had a smell, but I knew that's what Edward smelled like.

"So, did you really think that I was your kidnapper or was that just some sort of faux excuse to make conversation?" I smiled sheepishly as he pulled away from me.

"To be totally honest, I really did think that you kidnapped me and that Yogi was your henchman. He kinda looks like one too." Edward smiled and lent me a hand. I jumped down from the counter only to stumble slightly. An arm grabbed hold of my waist before I hit the floor and a grinning Edward was staring back at me.

"Seeing it happen from afar is much less exciting than it is to see up close. At least now I can catch you." I blushed and looked down.

"Damn, and I was doing so well too." He chuckled and pulled me away towards another room. This room had a similar glass wall like the one in his room with white couches and white walls that, for some reason, didn't give the look of an overly clean home but rather, a comfortable, homey place. It was nice and I found myself falling in love with this home. Because it wasn't just a house. It felt like there had been life in here (which technically, there had). Edward sat me down on the couch next to him and smiled gently at me.

"Well Bella, I guess I better explain myself to prevent any future accusations against me. I would really hate for Chief Swan to get a restraining order against me. It would be pretty difficult to explain to the school board." He cleared his throat and watched me from the corner of his eye as he stared at one particularly loose string on the couch. "I didn't really intend to "kidnap" you today. In fact, this morning, Emmett was joking around about that. Since we're the new students, it's pretty easy for kids to get carried away with what our reputations are and what they will be, so Emmett was trying to –" I cut him off with a hand.

"Wait, _you _are the new students?" He nodded and I just sat there, shocked and annoyed with myself. I should have known. Jessica had been rambling on about them all week, constantly telling me that there was a family moving to Forks from…somewhere. Anyone moving to Forks was a huge deal, that I knew. I had been new merely two years ago after moving in with Charlie. The whole town went into a frenzy, gossiping constantly, trying to get the juice on me and trying to be my friend to get said juice.

"Wow, just…wow. How could have _not _seen that coming?" He stared at me with a confused look on his face before continuing.

"You know, I just will never understand your reactions. First you think I kidnapped you and yet you ask what my "master plan" is so that you can abide by it. And now it's that huge of a deal to be the new student when I've been new for about three days. I'm actually kind of surprised that you didn't know; everyone else does. It was either that you really don't care about the town's new inhabitants or that bump on your head gave you a concussion."

"Hey, how _exactly _did I get the bump? I don't even remember hitting anything?" A frown set on his face and he looked away from me.

"To be totally honest, I'm not entirely sure how it happened. One minute you were in the parking lot at school and then you were on the ground next to your truck. When I got to you, you were laying directly beneath your rearview mirror, so I assumed that you maybe hit it when you were getting to your truck." Suddenly, I remembered. Everything was clear as crystal, playing live and in color in my head.

"Dear God, I didn't even _know _I was _that _clumsy! It wasn't even raining today and I still slipped. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?!" Edward had a confused look on his face for a moment before his eyebrows un-furrowed and a smile lit up on his face.

"Wait, so you mean…you slipped…on nothing?" I nodded slowly. It was a lot harder to take in than I thought it would be. I mean, I had honestly had a limit to how clumsy I thought I was and this twist of events was throwing off my calculations completely. Seriously, when had my body's sense of balance gotten so bad?

"So all those time that I saw you fall or trip, it was over _nothing_?!" I looked at him with a curious expression. What was the big deal? Everyone knew I tripped over nothing. It wasn't that hard to see.

"What's wrong?" I asked, completely curious as to what was going on in his head.

"Nothing. It's just…I honestly thought that maybe you had someone that was out to get you or something. I mean, you trip over _everything." _I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I have someone out to get me. Gravity in general is out to get me. I mean, what can you expect from someone who has no sense direction?" Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. He pulled my hands into his, their temperature not nearly as hot as they were earlier. In fact, they were comfortable to hold and they sent a rather pleasant tingling sensation across my skin.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, okay? After watching you from afar for three days and never actually talking to you, I kind of wanted us to meet under better circumstances. Pining after you from across the parking lot isn't exactly my idea of an unrequited love story." As if he just realized what he had said, his eyes widened and his lips parted in shock, his face paling considerably. Why couldn't _my _face do that when I was embarrassed?

So, he was in love with me. That wasn't exactly understandable. Love at first sight was something I believed in…just not for me though. When you have parents who divorced at such an early age, early love doesn't really seem credible. In fact, it seemed impossible and inconvenient. Plus, Edward was gorgeous. Not just any gorgeous, I mean he was Greek God, dazzling gorgeous with a capital 'G'. I was just starting to realize this though. There had been cases where kidnappees would get attached to their captor's and I had decidedly separated myself emotionally and possibly mentally from Edward to prevent myself from pining after him. Of course, I had been humoring the fact that I thought he was my kidnapper, but it seemed pretty realistic in the beginning. I mean, who else would slip, knock themselves unconscious, and wake up in some gorgeous stranger's home with a horrible headache and a bruise on their butt?

It wasn't a likely situation.

But I realized that I did like Edward. Maybe not love, well, not yet, but I definitely could. But I realized that it wasn't for Edward's benefit that I wanted to fall in love. I _liked _the idea of Edward loving me. It was a nice feeling, being loved by someone other than your mom or dad. But I started thinking. Why would Edward love me? Surely it couldn't have been my looks. I could name about ten girls right off the back that were much prettier than me. And I wasn't all that interesting.

"Bella…oh god, I completely understand if you are creeped out or you want to leave or slap me or whatever. But if you're going to do it now, I recommend you do it now. I don't think I can really take the silence. God, if only I could read your mind." The last part was muttered and I felt a little out of it. I guess the Edward-induced haze that was surrounding my thoughts was getting to me. I mean, this was _Edward_. Somehow, he was the only new student that was important in my mind.

"Oh my gosh…I like you." I muttered, completely astounded. Mortification was moot at this point. Heck, if Edward was going to be embarrassed, I might as well even out the score with my own embarrassment.

"Edward, finish your story, okay? Just, I need to hear what happened." Sure I was being overly dramatic and making it seem like this conversation would change my life, but I really just wanted to hear his voice. If I heard more, maybe I could get a grasp on why he liked me.

It didn't seem like he would object. He just looked like he wanted to get it over with and I immediately felt guilty. I didn't want him to be reserved and the fact that I had caused it was enough to make the guilt nearly unbearable.

"The first day we got here, we were in the parking lot of the school, just walking up to the office and I accidentally bumped into you. You just said 'sorry' before running off and tripping along the way. I didn't know who you were but really, how hard could it be to figure out your name. I just wanted to apologize for not paying attention." He took a deep breath. "So all of a sudden, people just started introducing themselves to us so I asked.

"Nearly everyone was talking about you like you were the greatest person in the world. All the boys liked you, all the girls seemed to admire you, well, except for that curly haired girl…Jessica, I think." Jessica didn't like me? That was disappointing. Then again, I could see why. But technically, it wasn't my fault that Mike had an unprecedented crush on me. I was a new penny in the hand of a child when I came into the school.

"So, I tried to find out more about you. I watched you during lunch and found out your routes between classes. I found you attractive, inside and out, so I just became infatuated, much to Esme's surprise." The confused look I was giving him must have given him the hint. "Esme's my adoptive mother. Anyway, I told some of the teachers that I was writing a practice article for the school paper so I can be one of the journalists and that I needed information on Bella Swan. The way they spoke about you was…admirable. It was only my first day at school and already I had a crush on you. So when Alice confronted me about it, she suggested that I go talk to you. But every time I tried, I just couldn't. I mean, for all I knew, you'd think I was some nobody and just reject me. And then whenever I'd see you, you'd just about be falling over or tripping over something," he paused for a moment, "or nothing. And this morning, well, Emmett was joking about how I wouldn't leave the car until you came to school. He was explaining about how I would probably end up kidnapping you and saying that I was going to be the cause for the next Amber alert.

"So this afternoon, when I saw you lying on the ground by your truck, I just brought you here. Nobody would be home for awhile so I figured we'd get a chance to talk alone and maybe you'd like me as a friend or something. Really, it was a pretty pathetic sight to see me running around, carrying you and freaking out that you had a concussion."

It was all so much to take in. If I'd cared more about the new students in the school, this all could have been prevented.

"Damn me and my antisocial tendencies!" I yelled out unexpectedly, causing Edward to jump back in surprise. "What's wrong?" he questioned, his eyes still wide.

"You know, this is all my fault. If I was more like Jessica, this would have never happened. I would have introduced myself and you wouldn't have had to stalk me-"

"I wasn't stalking you. I was just following you without your notice." I stared at him pointedly.

"Oh please, you found out where I got in between classes and you watched me from afar, and lied to teachers in the process." He shrugged, obviously unaffected by my awesome reasons as to why he was a stalker.

"Fine. But how is any of this your fault? I was the one who followed you and then withheld information, therefore leading you to believe that I kidnapped you. It's pretty obvious that I am the one to blame. Besides, if you were like that curly headed bobblehead, I wouldn't have found you attractive. And I like you the way you are."

I blushed. It was hard not to when Edward was staring at me so intently, almost like I was the only thing in the world. It was nice, just a little hard to get used to.

So, the kidnapper fell in love with the kidnappee, huh?" Edward nodded and turned away.

"What a stupid kidnappee," I stated.

"What a sick, masochistic kidnapper." And for some reason, I couldn't stop myself from laughing aloud. The entire situation was just too funny, even for me. While I was clutching my stomach, gasping for breath, Edward just stared at me with a smile on my face. I'm sure I was slobbering or something, but the fact that he found this humorous was good. It would be easier to get along later.

"Edward, do you realize what we are doing? We are arguing about a kidnapping that never happened and all the while, I keep on calling you Copper Locks in my head! Not only is this situation very wrong, but I am starting to think that you believe that I hate you, when in reality, I think I have a little crush on you. And dammit, my first crush will not be a wasted one!" Edward's shocked face was becoming the main expression for the day.

"So…you like me?" Edward asked questionably. I took a deep, exasperated breath and nodded. And without any warning, I'm pulled up into his arms, lifted off the ground, and choked. My air supply was gone by the time I was put down and I was panting for breath.

"You don't hate me! You like me!" he yelled happily, a grin crossing his face. "And…you called me Copper Locks. I've never heard that one before." My face heated up and I glared at him.

"Hey, you didn't introduce yourself until about fifteen minutes after we actually met. Plus, what else was I supposed to call you, "that guy"? Oh, that's clever." I rolled my eyes.

"No, I like it. In fact, I think you should call me that more often."

"No! I'm not going to call you Copper Locks just for your amusement."

"Oh really?" His stepped towards me with a spark of…mischief in his eyes. I backed away instinctively, hoping to gain some distance. His expression put me on edge, whether it be good or bad.

"Bella, if you don't call me that, I'll get you." He smiled a wide, evil grin, showing off his perfectly white teeth before taking another step. I shook my head frantically. He gave another crooked smirk. "That's too bad."

And then I was rolling around on the ground, Edward straddling my waist and tickling me relentlessly. This was horrible. I hadn't realized it before but now that I was laughing so hard, I kind of needed to make a trip to the bathroom and Edward was making it worse. Of course, tears were pouring from my face and I was giggling like a school girl while Edward was laughing loudly. His nimble fingers managed to find my ticklish spot, right below my ribcage.

"I surrender. Stop it! Stop it, Copper Locks!" With that, Edward stopped, still laughing before looking at me. I'd never noticed before, but his eyes were a deeper emerald than I had thought with hints of brown around the edges. Very attractive eyes, mind you. And every few seconds, they seemed to get closer and closer until I felt warm lips on mine, moving against my own in a natural movement. If anyone else had done that, I probably would have been pissed that they had taken my first kiss. But being that this was Edward, I couldn't help but feel that this was what I wanted. Nothing had ever been that clear before. That is, until Edward brushed his hand against my ticklish ribcage and I bolted up, pushing Edward off and yelling "Bathroom!" at the top of my lungs.

The last thing I heard was Edward's chuckle and him saying, "This is going to be interesting."

**A/N**: This is probably the longest one shot I've ever written and the first intentionally funny one. Realize that I am not funny. Everything that came out as funny in this story, that's just luck. It just so happened that after I wrote this, I laughed. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this.

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**AUTHORS ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD. DO NOT FLAME THE (OR EAT THEM). THAT, CHILDREN, IS KNOWN AS CANNIBALISM AND IS FROWNED UPON IN MOST SOCIETIES. **


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